Nov/Dec 2004



(You can't get me away from Dickens at this most festive time of year-he helped invent Modern Christmas, he brought ghosts into the celebration and helped revitalize the Modern Ghost Story in the process, and of course there is my own connection, playing Tiny Tim so many years ago, etc.

Having done just about everything else Dickens to death, I offer for this happy season the following little song, to be sung to the tune of Simon & Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson"...)

And here's to you Ebenezer Scrooge
Jacob Marley's closer than you know - woh woh woh
God bless you please, Ebenezer Scrooge
Christmas holds a place for those who play - hey hey hey, hey hey hey

Was it really all the scenes the spirits took you to
Or was it just sleep deprivation?
Look around you all you see are disembodied souls
Stroll around the town until you see your bones

And here's to you Ebenezer Scrooge
Past and Present weren't too bad to you - woo woo woo
What's up ahead, Ebenezer Scrooge?
Christmas Future's just around the bay - hey hey hey - hey hey hey

Runnin' round at 3AM reacting to each scene
Funny how the Spirits get the best lines
It's a little secret that you're not the star at all
Most of all you'll get upstaged by Tiny Tim

So Deck the Halls, Ebenezer Scrooge
Dickens loves you more than you will know - woh woh woh
God bless us all, bless us everyone
All the ghosts have left and gone away - hey hey hey - hey hey hey

Buy the biggest turkey, send it to the Cratchit home
Feeling quite as giddy as a schoolboy
Laugh about it with your nephew - what you got to lose?
Everywhere you look around there's booze . . .

Where have you gone, Mr. Fezziwig?
Ebenezer turns his eyes to you - woo woo woo
What is he doing with that mistletoe?
Mr. Scrooge has really changed his way - hey hey hey, hey hey hey